Do you have a newborn mother in your life? Heres how you can step it up.

Lets understand first


What happens for her after she's had a baby?


After childbirth, women experience significant hormonal and neurological changes. The size and structure of their brain undergoes transformations, enhancing their empathy and compassion. This period involves substantial learning, positive adaptation to parenting, and huge changes in brain plasticity to support mother baby bonding. Hormones like oxytocin play a crucial role, increasing both in quantity and receptor sensitivity, fostering a stronger bond with their baby. Often referred to as "baby brain," new mothers become better at assessing risks and responding to sensory cues, despite feeling exhausted and overwhelmed—an experience reported by 80% of new mothers. Additionally, two-thirds of Australian mothers fail to meet their breastfeeding goals, and tragically, the leading cause of maternal death is suicide. Motherhood is inherently feminine, with mothers possessing innate wisdom and what they need most is confidence, support, love, and encouragement to connect with their intuition and their baby, and to tune out external pressures.

According to WHO there are three phases to the postpartum period:

The Acute Phase:

  • First 6-12 hours after birth
  • Being monitored for PPH and any other post birth complications that may arise
  • You might experience more contractions to shrink your uterus down to your pre pregnancy size
  • You will continue to bleed may be bright red(lochia) for up to six weeks post birth (again, its different for everyone).
  • Baby will feed a lot on colostrum and will be bringing in your milk days 3-5 ish- its different for everyone!

Subacute Phase:

  • Begins around 24 hours after birth and lasts for about two to six weeks.
  • Your body continues to change, but the risk of a medical emergency decreases (potential DVT , particularly after a csection)
  •  Any vulval swelling will continue to decrease, the cervix which has been stretched can take 1-6 weeks to return to close.  
  • Levels of oestrogen and progesterone decrease significantly, which can cause mood changes.
  • Discharge (lochia) decreases from bright red to brownish and usually ends around the 6-week mark. Maternity pads are essential; no tampons or cups during this time!

Delayed Phase:

  • Lasts from 6 weeks up to 6 months after birth.
  • Muscles and connective tissue return to pre-pregnancy state, but it can take 12 months to 2 years for some women to feel fully back to their pre-pregnancy condition.
  • Initial weight loss occurs right after birth due to the loss of baby weight, placenta, blood, and amniotic fluid. Continued weight loss may happen over the following days due to increased weeing lots and breastfeeding. You may experience the night sweats which is all the fluid leaving your body- hormones also cause you to feel hot.
  • The uterus, which stretched to about 15 times its pre-pregnancy size during pregnancy, takes around 4 to 6 weeks to return to its pre-pregnancy size.


No Visitors,
just staff.

~ Dr Oscar Serrallach



If you're close by enough to help physically:

Meals and Snacks


Create a Meal Registry: Organise a meal train with friends and family to ensure she has access to nutritionally dense and nourishing meals.

  • Drop and Run: Be prepared to drop off meals and leave without expecting to come in, respect her need for rest and privacy.

Household Help


Do the Laundry: If you’re comfortable, strip their bed and wash their sheets. If not, offer to wash other laundry.

  • Spend Time with Siblings or Pets: Shower her other children or pets with love and attention to give her some breathing space.
  • Clean and Tidy the House: Help with dusting, bringing her drinks, vacuuming, mopping, and cleaning the bathroom. Small tasks can make a big difference.


Sometimes this means more than anything else


Emotional and Practical support


  • Be Available to Listen: Sometimes, she just needs a listening ear. If she’s comfortable, help organise a cleaning service.
  • Have Resources Ready: Be prepared with contacts for professionals if she needs additional help or expresses that she wants it.
  • Attend Appointments: Offer to accompany her to doctor’s appointments for extra support.
  • Run Errands: Help with grocery shopping, pharmacy runs, and picking up essentials like nappies.
  • Pampering and Care: Offer foot soaks, run a bath for her and the baby, or buy a cozy robe and feeding-friendly loungewear clothes.
  • Give a Massage: A gentle massage can help relieve stress and tension, particularly in the neck and shoulder region.
  • Hold the Baby: Give her a break by taking care of the baby so she can rest- this is an extremely personal thing to allow someone to hold your baby so don't be offended if she says no.
  • Encourage and Empower: Remind her that she’s doing an amazing job, tell her she’s a great mother, and encourage her to trust her instincts.
  • Understand Hormonal Changes: Be aware of the hormonal shifts she’s experiencing and give her lots of love and understanding.
  • Never expect her to host you: Get your own cup of tea, or coffee and make her one as well. If you don't know where these supplies are, maybe you shouldn't be there!


If you're not close


Send a care package:


And not just filled with baby stuff either! Put together a box of self-care items for her and post it! Include things like bath salts for sitz baths, lotions (baby friendly, organic is preferable no fragrances), snacks, and cozy items. You can get hampers from these places:




Virtual support



Supporting a new mother can take many forms


Whether you’re nearby or far away, your thoughtful actions and words can help her navigate this special, yet challenging, time with more ease and comfort. Her only two jobs in the postpartum period are to fall in love and learn to breastfeed! In many other non Western culture, women are encouraged to rest for up to 40 days post birth and at the minimum 15 days- 5 days in the bed, 5 days beside the bed and 5 days around the bed.